Here’s a tip: Volunteer at TIP. It will provide a stress test of your leadership skills

In our executive MBA program at Boise State University, we seek to develop flexible, innovative leaders, and that means encouraging them to build their leadership skills.

One of the first things we tell them is harsh: “It’s not about you, it’s about the other person, group, team.” Period. This means that they can no longer use the excuse of “That’s just who I am” to act in ways that are not in the interest of their organizations and their teams.

No more lack of listening. No more lack of interest in what their employees might be like after hours. No more multitasking in meetings with other people. Nope.

From now on, they need to be present, to listen, and to find ways to encourage the other person.

I realized recently that one of the groups I volunteer for allows me to practice some of the leadership skills I talk about in a kind of stress-test environment. TIP, the Trauma Intervention Program of Treasure Valley, is a group of volunteers who join first responders on scenes where some death or tragedy has occurred — a heart attack, a suicide, an accident — any time and place where the EMS, fire or police think we can be useful.

That means sitting with a victim or survivor, just being there. And that’s where the leadership skills come into play.

We must be completely focused on the other person, or several persons, in front of us. We listen to them, ask them some questions, and listen more. It’s not about us, it’s completely about the people who are going through a terrible experience, on this worst day of their lives.

We try, then, to be present, to encourage them to talk if they want to. We ask about the person who has died, what she is like, when they last talked. It’s hard but, of course, much harder for those going through the experience.

In the end, most of the time, we come away feeling that we did a little bit of good, just being with someone who needed an ear.

So, if you’d like to practice some of the skills that leaders need, think about joining us. You’ll become a better listener. You’ll learn to read people and groups better and know when to step in with help — a tissue, a pair of slippers, a bottle of water — and you’ll learn when to back off and just be available. You’ll practice asking questions that help someone open up, and you’ll learn when to refrain from asking.

It’s incredible training, and you’ll do some good in the meantime.