Idaho faith: God can help you forgive others of their sins, which frees your soul

While on the staff of a large church in Austin, Texas, I was asked to counsel with one of the members of our congregation. I was somewhat surprised when a well-dressed, middle-aged woman, an executive of a large corporation, appeared at my office door. We sat down and shared some introductory small talk, before I asked the nature of her request.

At first, she remained silent as she tried to gather her thoughts and emotions. Then the emotional dam burst with uncontrollable sobbing and screaming. I waited quietly, feeding her tissues to absorb the multicolored puddle of cosmetics accumulating on her face.

When she was able to speak, she said she had just returned from the funeral of her father, whom she had despised most of her life. She claimed he sexually abused her and her sisters starting when they were young teenagers. She was not sure of what her mother knew, but this lady developed a hatred toward her parents, who failed to protect their children’s innocence.

Unfortunately and imperceptibly, the bitterness she and her sisters felt toward their father had seeped into their relationships with all men. This had resulted in the failure of marriages, and even estrangement from their own sons. Gradually, she realized this wounding of her soul had not affected her father as much as it had defiled her and her sisters (Hebrews 12:15). Now that her father, the primary target of her hatred, was gone, she was left with a bitterness of soul that was contaminating every area of her life. She wanted free from the bondage of her father’s sins, and his funeral had only exacerbated her torture.

Recently, the memory of this lady came back to me as I surveyed the landscape of our culture today. One observer noted that they had never seen so much observable hatred among people, politically and culturally. No doubt, the use of social media, where people can say almost anything behind some anonymity, has widened the communication gap between people. People would not dare speak the same words face to face that flow through social media. But the political climate around the recent election has also created deep feelings on all sides that can degenerate into bitterness, even hatred. If that hatred is allowed to fester, it will destroy the soul in which it dwells. So the bitter person becomes the real victim in this cultural and political war.

The answer to our present bitterness is the same as it was for that lady in Austin. For our own spiritual health and protection, we must ask for and accept God’s grace of forgiveness so we are empowered to forgive those who are the target of our bitterness. If we don’t forgive, then we are not forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15; 18:35), and the destructive cycle of emotions will continue.

I will never forget the look of incongruity on the face of the lady in my office when I discussed her options. She wanted to be free from her father’s sins, and forgiveness was the only key to the prison of his control. She sobbed out a prayer asking God for the ability to forgive, and a smile of freedom creased her face! In fact, she said she was going to place a flower on his grave.

In this toxic environment of national bitterness, do yourself a favor. Ask God to forgive you of the acid in your soul, so you might have the ability to forgive others, and be released from their control.