‘Yay! I pooped today!’ is everywhere, Boise. These crappy billboards need flushed.

So there you are, driving around Boise. Minding your own business.

And here comes another obnoxious billboard about doing your business.

“YAY! I POOPED TODAY!” it screams in massive, happy letters.

Perhaps you’ve had the misfortune of seeing the version with two ecstatic women practically hugging in celebration of this crappy proclamation. One unfurls a roll of TP as white as her teeth and wraps it around her hand. The other, uncorking a wide-open smile, wears a toilet seat around her neck while gleefully smacking the back of her head repeatedly with the lid.

OK, that last part is wishful thinking.

Either way, this ad campaign needs to be flushed, Boise.

Immediately. Twice to be safe.

These billboards are everywhere. There are 22 in the Treasure Valley, according to Microbe Formulas, the Meridian “health and wellness company” behind them. Microbe issued a press release today patting itself on the back about the campaign. “There’s no surprise it’s gone viral,” the email says, “as it has been covered in local news, radio and the Idaho Statesman.”

Not to be a turd — but nope. The Idaho Statesman has not mentioned these nauseating billboards before.

Obviously, Microbe Formulas doesn’t even read the paper in the bathroom. Because they’ve confused the Idaho Statesman with the Idaho Press. A short, anonymous mention was published in the Nampa newspaper Jan. 19: “Jeers to the very crude billboard on Garrity Boulevard that applauds a bodily function,” the letter writer complained. “What is the point? Do we really want this to represent the city of Nampa?”

No, we do not. But sadly, we are out of luck. Because the point is money. Microbe Formulas wants you to visit yayipoopedtoday.com, so it can sell you a bottle of a product such as Mimosa Pudica Seed: The Gut Scrubber ($39.95).

What, haven’t these people heard of Taco Bell?

At the website, you get to cringe at more photos of shameless adults, including local radio personalities, playing with plungers or wearing a toilet lid for a necklace. There’s a cheesy video. There are loads of nifty illustrations, too, in the section where you “Map Your Doody on the Bristol Stool Chart.”

Maybe some Idahoans exist who truly can use Microbe Formulas’ supplements. Fine. Can’t the company handle it more like those pharmaceutical ads for baby boomers — where you have no freaking idea what is being advertised?

“Yay! I Barfed Today!” is the campaign I’m starting in the meantime.

Thanks to 22 billboards, a large portion of the Treasure Valley already has a finger stuck down its throat.