Guest opinion: My family put aging on our agenda for a week and it changed our lives
A few weeks ago, “Fast Forward: Look into Your Future,” premiered on PBS, and you may have seen a familiar community featured, my great and growing hometown of Nampa.
Narrated by the amazing artist, designer and activist Rosario Dawson, “Fast Forward” provides an intimate look at what it’s like for families to face the realities of aging from care giving to financial planning to experiencing the physical effects of aging through the MIT A.G.N.E.S. suit.
My dad and I were one of those familial duos, and honestly, our lives will never be the same in many unique ways.
We spent a week in what has been called “aging boot camp,” exploring the decisions people think they can make later in their lives, such as living wills, dietary changes, housing adjustments, medical decisions and social impacts of aging.
As a man in my 30s, I felt some anxiety about delving into thoughts related to my later years. As my father’s son, I felt hopeful talking about aging and how we would navigate future health issues and the decrease of independence that may happen for a variety of reasons.
Fast Forward’s director, Michael Eric Hurtig, recently said that he hopes the film “offers space for families to have what can be very difficult conversations about aging, and that it helps them find support in their local communities to proactively begin this process together.”
That is exactly what we experienced.
We met with local professionals who helped guide our conversations, providing space for us to navigate everything from the financial realities of the future to the actual physical limitations we may experience.
Because we opened the window of the discussion, our relationship was challenged in a few ways.
My dad, even after the filming of the documentary, does not take the information to heart and does not want to confront the reality of mortality and aging, which is not uncommon in American culture. I believe others in my age range will have similar, challenging experiences. Addressing end-of-life care, in terms of planning and conversation, is an uncomfortable experience and topic, since aging in general is not celebrated.
While aging may be something we want to avoid talking about, let alone experience, the fact of the matter is that it is going to happen to all of us.
No matter our race or religion or political party, we will all grow older and we all die. This experience taught me that aging isn’t something to fear and that I will do — and have done — whatever it will take to make sure my family and friends are not put under duress when I pass away someday.
The experience was eye opening and led to actual change in my life regarding end of life planning. Take my word for it: Put aging on your agenda; it is better to be ahead of it than behind.