We lost our mom to COVID, but these health care angels went above and beyond

Our family’s worst nightmare happened last week, and a fear that I am sure is shared by all in this pandemic: Our loved one died alone in the hospital to COVID. We lost our mother/grandmother and could not be by her side holding her hand when she died. It’s not that we didn’t know our days with our sweet aging mom were numbered on this earth, we just did not want her to die alone. But this story needs to be shared as this hard loss in the worst of circumstances was surrounded by many blessings, and these blessings came in the form of the medical staff on the 7th floor COVID Unit at St Luke’s Regional Medical Center downtown Boise. I call them our angels.

Although it is unfathomable to most to think of a hospital not allowing family members to be present at the end of life of their loved one, I was somehow able to objectively understand this decision due to numerous factors, including my 30 years of working in the medical profession, seeing the ongoing news about overworked health care professionals and understaffed hospitals, and most recently seeing the record high numbers of hospitalizations here in our valley due to COVID. This allowed me to have an objective understanding of St Luke’s need to protect their patients and medical staff by limiting outside exposure into the hospital, despite my family’s personal sadness as we watched our mother and grandmother rapidly decline without us being able to be there with her.

For the entire week that my mom was hospitalized and her condition worsened each day, I received a daily morning report from the nurses after their rounds and a daily afternoon/evening report from Mom’s hospital physician Dr. Nikhil Reddy.

As heart-wrenching and grim as these reports were as they progressed as the week went on, each and every day I was able to send a positive update to my family with the most touching and caring acts of compassion from these angels in PPE (PPE that hid everything but their halos). They went above and beyond with their acts of caring for my mom that filled the huge void of not having our family there comforting her. Here are just a few of the loving “above and beyond” moments (I know there are a million more. You know who you are and what you did for our mom. Please accept our love and appreciation even if your name is not mentioned).

Dr. Reddy and Chaplain Brandon. Thank you for your video conference into Mom’s hospital room and taking the time to be with us in person to answer all our many questions, Dr. Reddy, despite your horrific schedule of taking care of the sick and dying day after day. Thanks for giving us your undivided time and compassion despite what must have been total exhaustion and burnout for you and guiding us into our decision for end of life comfort care for Mom. And thank you to Chaplain Brandon for your comforting prayer when desperately needed.

Nurse Alli FaceTimed that same afternoon (a decision made on your own to go above and beyond to do this) as Mom transitioned into comfort care to allow us to see her comfortably sleeping in her hospital room after an extremely difficult night. That was a true gift.

Nurse Laura called to say she walked into Mom’s room to care for her for the first time and saw all her cards, flowers and great-grandchildren’s drawings hung all around her bed (thank you to the angel who did that; I do not have your name which I so wish I did) and said she immediately felt how special and treasured our mom was. She told me what “an honor” it was to care for Mom. She also told me that she carefully read all Mom’s cards to her and knew that Mom heard, even though she was unresponsive. Such a selfless act of caring and compassion.

Nurse Michael called with the most joyous voice and told me that he had the “best time with Mom this afternoon” (please remember that he is telling me this when my mom is totally unresponsive) and that he played big band music for her (how could this caring man have known how much my mom loved big band music?) and that he sang to her. He confirmed to me that auditory is the last sense to go at end of life. This was the greatest act of caring I could have ever imagined from a nurse to a patient he had never met until that morning.

Nurse Breka worked with me to arrange an evening phone session on Mom’s cell phone in her hospital room and patiently and lovingly held the phone to Mom’s ear while family members called in one by one to say their final goodbyes into Mom’s ear as she slept.

Nurse Kristen patiently and caringly set up a second evening phone session for more family members to be able to say their goodbyes into Mom’s ear.

Chaplain Meredith set up a second and last video session into Mom’s hospital room on the day before she died for us to have a last chance to put our eyes on our mom before she left this earth and provided spiritual support with a final prayer of peace.

Nurse’s Aide Stormy, during the last video session (above) into our mom’s hospital room, we noticed movement in the bottom right-hand corner of the video screen. Upon a closer look, we realized it was the surgical gloved hand of Stormy who had been massaging Mom’s shoulder the entire time we had been saying our goodbyes. This almost went unnoticed in our grieving.

Thank you, dear Stormy.

Nurse Kristen (again) compassionately reported that on Mom’s last day on this earth, she walked into Mom’s room and that there was music playing and she was surrounded by all her cards, flowers and great-grandchildren’s drawings and that it was such “a calm and peaceful feeling in the room” and that she wanted us to know that, since we were unable to be in the room.

What a gift this was for us to know that peace and calmness surrounded Mom on her last day when we could not be there holding her hand. Thank you, Kristen.

Nurse Manager Liz, thank you for letting me share all the above acts of caring and compassion with you on the phone after Mom passed away and for crying with me. I felt your compassion and your huge heart.

Dr. Reddy, there are no words. Your compassionate care of our Mom the entire week despite your ongoing grueling and exhausting schedule was unbelievable. You remained steadfast and calm, which in turn kept us calm in this life’s storm. But what will stay in my mind forever is your final call the day after Mom passed (which came from home on your much needed day off and on your own time) to offer your condolences to our family. It was the most caring and selfless act of kindness imaginable. We can never thank you enough for all you did. You and your medical staff are truly angels here on earth.

Please lift up these overworked and emotionally exhausted health care workers in your thoughts and prayers. To say they went above and beyond to fill the void in that hospital room (when our family could not be there) is a complete understatement. Each and every one of these acts of love were done completely on their own despite them being exhausted and at risk of burnout. Their acts of kindness in our mom’s/grandmother’s final days will never be forgotten.

You were our eyes and our ears and our hands that could not hold. You are the heroes of this horrible pandemic and are our angels here on earth.

We are forever thankful,

Chris Dixon and family