We are equal in God’s sight and he does not favor one above another

The parable of the prodigal son was the topic in a class I recently attended. The discussion, however, centered not on the younger son, who took his future inheritance and left home, but on the older son who stayed at home to run the farm, so to speak.

The younger son’s money quickly disappeared, as did his new-found friends, leaving him penniless, friendless and desperate. He ended up working as a swineherd, grateful for shelter and food, however meager. After some self-examination, he chose to return to his father’s house, where he was received with celebration.

Having stayed home, worked for his father and done all that was asked of him, the elder son was angry when he learned of the rejoicing upon his brother’s return. He did not go in to welcome his brother, but remained outside.

Noting his elder son’s absence, his father sought him and found one who felt unappreciated and resentful that his wastrel brother was being given a joyous welcome. The elder, dutiful son, forgot for a moment that everything the father had was already his. He did not lose anything by his brother’s return.

Yet he, who had everything, lacked one important thing: compassion. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, speaking of the elder brother, notes, “One who has heretofore presumably been very happy with his life and content with his good fortune suddenly feels very unhappy simply because another has had some good fortune as well.”

“Who,” he asks, “is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this — it is the father of all lies.”

Envy, says Elder Holland, is something to which no one wishes to confess — but its prevalence is suggested in an old Danish proverb, “If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill. The parson in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales laments it because it is so far reaching — it can resent anything, including any virtue and talent, and it can be offended by everything, including every goodness and joy.”

Envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins, so how can we let this into our lives? In part it may be the constant advertisements for things we don’t have, the promotions to change the way we look, the message that what we are or what we have are not enough.

There are always lists comparing people, ranking them on a variety of things (beauty, wealth, intelligence, talent) and leaving us feeling that we don’t measure up. It is not hard, in such a world, to doubt the existence of a god who loves unconditionally.

One writer says, “When I hear someone praised it is hard not to think of myself as less praiseworthy; when I read about the goodness and kindness of other people, it is hard not to wonder whether I myself am as good and kind as they; and when I see trophies, rewards, and prizes being handed out to special people, I cannot avoid asking myself why that didn’t happen to me.”

I suspect most of us have had similar feelings, and, perhaps felt guilty at doing so. We are only human. But it is easy to see how harboring such feelings can lead us to a very negative self-image. We may wonder how God can love someone so imperfect, someone who falls so short of perfection.

Elder Holland believes that most of the “thou shalt not” commandments are to keep us from hurting others, but that the final commandment, not to covet, is to keep us from hurting ourselves.

How do we avoid such thinking? We can count our blessings, choose to celebrate the accomplishments of others, and work harder at serving and loving others. We don’t have to be perfect. God loves us as we are — we are equal in his sight and he does not favor one above another. “Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but all men are privileged the one like unto another, and none are forbidden.” 2 Nephi 26:28

Paul reminded us that we are all of the body of Christ, and all are important. We should recall his counsel “That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all members rejoice with it.” 1 Cor. 12:25-26

Stop measuring yourself against others. God doesn’t measure our talents or our looks. He doesn’t weigh our bank accounts. He cheers for each of us as we move through life, reminding us that the race is not against one another but against sin.

Even if you stumble, remember that you are a child of God. Just as the father of the prodigal son loved him and rejoiced in his return, so our father loves us and rejoices when we pick ourselves up and keep trying.