Carolyn: My roommate is pregnant. She will continue being my roommate for the duration of the pregnancy as her significant other — my brother — has not finished renovating their new house. This is fine.
Except for one thing: pregnancy restrictions. She can’t drink alcohol, so neither can I. She can’t eat sushi, so neither can I. Apparently you can’t have anything in the house that she’s not allowed to eat in case she goes feral in the night and stuffs it into her, poisoning her fetus in a somnambulistic feeding frenzy.
She’s always been a bit like this (diets, exercise fits) but having the “think about the baby” to wave around makes her worse. Obviously I could be understanding, but she’s so self-righteous I want to mainline tuna and crack off her baby books.
How do I stop being so annoyed by it all before sushigate causes a family rift? I don’t even LIKE sushi that much; the only reason I want it now is spite.
To Sushi, or Not to Sushi
You can address the food and resentment issues with one stroke: Buy, eat and drink what you want. “I am happy for you and happy to have you stay here, but putting me on your diet is where I draw the line. I promise I’ll be discreet.”
There are some areas where it’s essential to accommodate — no smoking around the pregnant lady — and some areas where cooperation is just the decent thing to do, such as avoiding foods that have an upsetting smell. (This may seem minor, but the wrong smell around the wrong pregnant person at the wrong time can = barf.) But I would argue that you have a better chance of avoiding a rift if you avoid indulging irrational requests from Go.
Giving in to high-maintenance people always seems like the “nice” or peacemakery thing to do, but it’s a short-term patch that only allows the problem to get worse. Don’t postpone the reckoning.
To Preggo’s Roommate: Don’t give in. You are her roommate, not her doormat. If she is worried about gorging on food she is not supposed to have will you be locking the toilet, too? I mean, toilet water is known to be kind of gross. Or, will she be overdosing on vitamins or Tylenol?
True, smell sensitivity is a big deal (like the smell of meat cooking, aaaaghhh) so don’t do it if she requests. I’m saying all this because I am pregnant as I type this.
Presumably it’s the things she likes to consume when not pregnant that are the issue here, but I’ll include this in case nocturnal toilet-water raids are a concern for any readers.
Re: Sushi: One thing to take into consideration is whether your roommate is having pregnant-lady cravings for this food she’s not supposed to have. If she’s craving it and fighting those cravings in an effort to do what’s best for her baby, it would be unkind to keep it in the house.
If it’s one Waterloo food, then, yes, I agree with you completely. If it’s half the menu, then, no — but storing it in opaque containers would be a kindness.
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