Carolyn Hax: Advice

Guests of jilted bride want their money back

Dear Carolyn: My daughter was engaged to a young man who wanted a big wedding. They both saved to pay for it, but in practice the burden of organizing and paying deposits fell on my daughter, with the expectation that later they would either join the finances or he would reimburse her.

Well, two months before the wedding he ran off with a pregnant girlfriend. My daughter is overwhelmed by the emotional fallout and the financial obligations. I volunteered to notify the guests about the cancellation.

Some guests, especially on our side of the family, complained about their own nonrefundable plane tickets and demanded that we reimburse them.

I cannot see this situation as anything other than them showing their true colors, and I don’t want to have any relationship with them anymore.


Dear Canceled: Wow. I can’t see it as anything else either.

So, yeah, you don’t need me — you’ve got this. You have seen their true colors and you are free not to have any relationship with them anymore.

If you’d like, you can give them the runaway fiance’s number to see about reimbursement.

Re: Canceled Wedding: My sympathies to the bride. And perhaps it should be suggested to the complainers, since they have those tickets, that they use them and come to offer THEIR sympathetic support to your daughter, who has just had the rug pulled out from under her.


Dear Anonymous: This would be ingenious, except that it means inviting people to visit who just revealed themselves to be awful.

I guess if it would involve a complete transformation of perspective — “Huh! I was just asking a horrifically jilted bride for my money back, when in fact my first impulse ought to have been an ounce or two of compassion” — then their showing up to console the bride might work.

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