Shopping for a funeral shouldn’t add to your grief

Only 38 of 150 funeral homes examined in 10 U.S. markets by the Funeral Consumers Alliance and Consumer Federation of America fully disclosed prices on their websites.
Only 38 of 150 funeral homes examined in 10 U.S. markets by the Funeral Consumers Alliance and Consumer Federation of America fully disclosed prices on their websites. TNS

One area where I’m not happy to have had a lot of financial experience is planning funerals.

I’ve had to pay for or help arrange funerals for my grandfather, grandmother, two brothers, great aunt, brother-in-law, father-in-law and, most recently, my mother.

And while the staffs at the funeral homes were kind and professional, there was one thing that was consistently frustrating. I couldn’t get any price information on the Internet. I had to call. And still, I never got a full sense of the costs until I actually visited the homes.

The Funeral Consumers Alliance and the Consumer Federation of America just released a survey that quantified my experience and that of many others.

The consumer advocates surveyed 150 funeral homes from 10 metropolitan regions of the country. Researchers asked for information on direct cremation without a service, immediate burial without a ceremony or the cost of a casket, and a full-service funeral, which included transport of the body to the funeral home, preparation of the body, viewing or calling hours, a ceremony with the casket present, a hearse to the cemetery, a vehicle for the family, and a graveside ceremony.

The survey found that only one in four funeral homes disclosed prices on their websites. Sixteen percent didn’t reveal prices either on their website or when contacted by email or phone.

The Federal Trade Commission’s “Funeral Rule” requires funeral establishments to provide cost information over the phone and to give a general price list to consumers who visit their establishment. It does not require disclosure on their websites. But it should.

Given the way we use technology to shop, the law needs to be updated, especially for such an emotional purchase. Consumers ought to be able to find prices for funeral services online as easily as they can shop for a new or used car.

“Many people are surprised at how much funeral prices vary, even within in their hometown,” Josh Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, said.

The survey revealed huge price differences for a full service funeral from a low of $2,580 in Minneapolis to a high of $13,800 in Washington.

Until there is change, here is what Slocum recommends when shopping for funeral services:

Slow down

“Take your finger off the panic button,” he said. “Yes, things have to be done in a reasonable time, but if your wife, who has been in hospice, dies at home, that doesn’t mean you have to rush to phone the funeral home at 3 a.m.”

If you’re too grief stricken to call around to get quotes, have a friend do it for you. In fact, when you get your will done — and you should — include information about the type of funeral you prefer and how much you can afford to spend. Me, I want to be cremated. I don’t want my family to spend a lot of money to bury me.

Set a budget

Arrange a funeral that fits your emotional needs but also fits your budget. “And if your budget is $800, there is no shame in that,” Slocum said.

You can get some general price information from surveys conducted by local affiliates of Funeral Consumers Alliance. Go to and click on the link for “Find a local FCA.” Still, the surveys don’t include itemized price listings.

Spend wisely

You can have a $20,000 funeral where the body is on display for three days or an $800 simple cremation and memorial service. Either way, “the amount of love and genuineness of your grief is the same,” Slocum points out.

It’s OK to shop for a funeral like you would any other service or product. And don’t equate how much you spend with the love you had for your loved one.

Michelle Singletary, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20071;; @SingletaryM;