Ask Amy: Girlfriend is too eager for two sets of parents to meet

Dear Amy: My boyfriend/fiance and my mother do not get along and it bothers me. I’ve spoken to him about it. He says that because we have had many issues within our relationship, he doesn’t feel right about introducing my parents to his parents.

My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for six years. Our relationship has been good for the past six months.

How can I make him understand that it’s important to me that he builds a relationship with my mother and that our parents build a relationship with each other?

Ms. Confused

Dear Ms.Confused: You can ask anything at all of your boyfriend-slash-fiance. However, you can’t make him create or repair a relationship if he doesn’t want to.

I’m not sure why you are pushing him to have both sets of parents meet.

Repairing a relationship with your mother is more important, if you and he are going to stay together. However, given the up-and-down nature of your relationship, he may not see your relationship as lasting long enough to make this reconciliation necessary.

Dear Amy: Your response to “Concerned Friends,” the couple whose once-active friends have become frail and homebound, was right on the money.

My father and stepmother were increasingly homebound the last two years of their lives. They were also bored and cruelly lonely. Visits from friends and family were like water in the desert.

I’d like to urge readers to please visit the homebound as often as you can. Also please realize that the homebound may not have much to say. This means that you, the visitor, must supply stimulation. Play an instrument, tell jokes, bing a grandchild.

Please never doubt that your visit made their day and may have prolonged their lives.


Dear Grateful: Your suggestions are excellent.

Amy Dickinson via email: