Carolyn Hax: Advice

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Protecting grandsons from their chaotic mother

DEAR CAROLYN: My wife and I adopted our grandsons, 10 and 12, due to our daughter’s long history of drug addiction and arrests spanning over 13 years. She is again working and has set up house with another man. She wants to regain visits with the boys, but I am resisting getting back into the cycle of visits on a lot of different levels.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Learning to accept daughter’s weight

DEAR CAROLYN: Ever since my now-tween daughter was a toddler, she has been a little chubby. I routinely found hidden food wrappers under her bed, under the couch cushions and shoved in her closet. Yes, at 3 she had the wherewithal to find food and hide her eating.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Giving friend a mulligan for email outburst

HI, CAROLYN: “Alex” is married to one of my closest friends, “Lana,” and Alex and I work at the same company. Recently my husband “Ben” also joined the same place. Lana has tried to get a job at our company several times, but for one reason or another has been unsuccessful. Still, she has a great job at another company that anyone would kill to have.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Finding peace after sudden breakup

DEAR, CAROLYN: It’s been over a month since my ex and I had an argument, and we haven’t spoken to each other since. We’ve been together for over a year and have had trivial arguments like this, and we always get back together after a few days of “cooling off.” I always like to settle arguments at that moment, but he likes to discuss after a day or two. I think we both realize we love each other but are not meant to be together.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Daughter questions mom’s approach to mourning dad

HI CAROLYN: My father passed away a few months ago, and I’ve been having difficulties with my mother ever since. Our relationship has become strained as a result of our different grieving styles (hers — jetting off to Paris, buying a new luxury car, having substantial cosmetic surgery). Although I understand we all deal with death in our own unique ways, I can’t seem to grasp this as a mourning period for her. Although I’m an adult and on my own for the most part, I still feel, well, abandoned and sometimes like I’ve lost both parents.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Don’t expect the moon if he tells you not to

CAROLYN: Met “Guy” through mutual friend. He is 23, just graduated from college, I’m 20 and have two more years. Had one-night stand with Guy over two months ago, continued having one-night stands about twice a week. Spent two weekends with Guy at the beach, had a wonderful time. We’ve never been on a date, talked about feelings, commitment or anything concerning “us” at all. We tease, play, argue for fun and enjoy our time together. I have strong feelings for Guy, suspect vice versa. It is known that Guy has had significant emotional trauma within past few years. We haven’t talked about that, either.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Boyfriend gets email from the one who got away

DEAR CAROLYN: My boyfriend of the past three months recently received an email from a long-ago ex-girlfriend, who apologized for the way things had ended and wanted to catch up with him. She was the love of his life in college and shortly after. She broke his heart, cheating on him five times with other guys. He almost committed suicide over her, and was severely depressed after they broke up.

Carolyn Hax: Advice

Is needy girlfriend worth the price?

DEAR CAROLYN: My girlfriend and I have had an up-and-down relationship for four years, complete with several breakups. We keep getting drawn back to each other – there are qualities we see in each other that we simply don’t in other people. But she is very demanding emotionally, and I end up feeling like I don’t have enough time for work, friends and non-shared interests. Her demands push me to the limit, and I eventually get angry. I’ve told her I feel worn out by her, that I can’t do or be everything she wants in a mate. Recently, I delicately brought up that she was high-maintenance. She told me that belittled her feelings, but her response was so practiced that it was obvious some other guys said the same thing. I know I can’t change her, but are there things I could do to foster a less high-maintenance style?

About Carolyn Hax: Advice

Carolyn Hax

@carolynhax

Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at 10 a.m. each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

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