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Ask Amy: Tell moocher your lunch is off-limits

By Amy Dickinson - King Features Syndicate

Published: 11/20/09


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Dear Amy: One of my best friends at work is a guy who is a few years younger than me. We have developed a really nice "brother/sister" relationship. We often tease, share jokes, etc.

The problem is that he always eats my food without asking.

I'm seven months pregnant and have even said things like, "This small single-serving popcorn bag is my lunch for the day," but it doesn't stop him.

He will dig his whole arm into my food to fish out what he wants. This has led to me giving him my lunch (even though he has his own), because I am so grossed out contemplating his hand-washing habits and dirty fingernails.

This happens daily. He does not do this to any other co-workers.

The only way I can completely assure that I can eat my lunch is if I eat it alone at my desk. I would like to resume eating my lunch in our break room, but I am now leery.

My husband suggests that I simply talk to him about my annoyance instead of letting it build up, but the thought of approaching my co-worker with my concern and annoyance seems petty. How can I get him to stop?

CONCERNED COLLEAGUE

Dear Concerned: You are the victim here, but I can't help but wonder how you will possibly set boundaries and offer a child the discipline he or she will need if you can't even bring yourself to whack your friend's hand with a ruler and say, "Get your paws off my Cheetos, man!"

Because you are so passive, I'm going to provide you with an "out."

Pregnancy offers few real consolations, but one of them is that occasionally you can use your pregnancy to get what you want.

The next time your friend reaches his grubby hand toward your food bowl, you say, "Move another muscle and you're going to lose that hand, friend. I'm pregnant, I'm hungry and I've lost the capacity to share."

Trust me - no one wants to mess with you and face your hormone-fueled wrath.

askamy@tribune.com

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