Carolyn: After three years with my boyfriend, it has become clear we have very different ideas of intimacy. When we first met, there were all the sparks I could hope for, but he quickly cooled to the point of reaching out maybe once every few months, half-heartedly.
I have tried talking about it, being patient, initiating, giving him space but he just doesnt desire sex. We love each other and have kept the excitement in all ways except that one, but my eye has started to wander. I dont want to leave him but dont know how much longer I can be patient.
30 AND SAD
Be patient? For what?
An active libido isnt unfortunate its part of you. Whether his dormant libido is part of him, or you, or is fixable, I cant say.
You want to stay, you want regular sex, you want fidelity, you want. Unless hes actually trying to please you, its time to face up to not getting what you want.
Carolyn: My sons birthday was four months ago, and his godmother hasnt yet gotten him a birthday or Christmas gift. The problem is, this is getting in the way of our socializing. Friday I sent them a text suggesting we meet up for dinner. They finally texted back days later (even though these are people who live by their cell phones) to say they were at the movies and missed my message but lets try next weekend. This has been going on for four months!
Its because they dont have my sons gifts yet. She was sick for his birthday party and then admitted later it was because she didnt have a gift. She rescheduled our Christmas gift exchange several times. I finally dropped off her childrens gifts. Again she admitted she didnt have any gifts for my son. Their kids and my son are good friends. This nonsense is getting in the way of their friendship as well.
This has nothing to do with finances I happen to know she splashed out on everyone else. What should I do?
Put this thing to rest, please: Forget gifts! Son just misses your kids.
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