Carolyn: You often talk about a best self. What is your workaday definition?
Here are some ideas:
Are you doing things that are meaningful to you; suited to your interests, skills and talents; and challenging enough to keep you humble?
Are you with people to whom you want to be kind; who reinforce your good choices; and who dont inspire persistent doubts about whether theyre dependable, genuinely fond of you, free of ulterior motives, honest with you?
Are you that person to those you love?
Do you take responsibility for your choices and their consequences?
Do you honor your promises and commitments, to yourself and others?
When you are impressed by, grateful to or concerned about someone, do you show it?
Do you forgive?
Are you representing yourself honestly, to yourself and others?
Do you take care of yourself in small ways like flossing, and in big ways like thinking through consequences before you act?
For taming weaknesses:
Do you realize your needs have the same status as everyone elses? And youre not the hero in every encounter with others?
Are you mindful of your flaws and demons?
Do you make choices that put distance between you and your temptations?
Do you resist the impulse to blame others when things go wrong?
Do you understand the boundary between your and others business, and stay on your side?
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