Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Dear Carolyn: Yesterday I was offered a good job in the hometown of my girlfriend, whom I planned to marry. Our plan was she would follow me there when she could figure out her own career, and live with me while we planned a wedding.
Then, last night, she told me she wasnt sure that she was all in. Long story short: We broke up.
Im heartbroken. And I dont know what the heck to do about this job. I fully expect to be laid off from my own job in the next few months, so I need the job. Plus its a good job and Id be excited to do it. But I dont know anyone in this new city other than my girlfriends family.
There are also financial issues. Im way underwater on my mortgage and couldnt sell my house except at a steep loss. I could possibly rent it. I just need some clearheaded, I dont know, guidance, from the Haxster.
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
Haxster feels your pain. How big is the girlfriends hometown we talking Mayberry or Manhattan? I think anything big enough for you not to risk running into her every time you go out for a beer is probably big enough for the both o ya.
It would also help if you moved not to her town proper, but to one within a comfortable commuting radius around the new workplace.
Youd have to go, though, with the clear understanding stated to your now-ex that you would be moving to her town as if you knew no one there, and will not lean on her or her family, and will not entertain hopes of winning her back. This is pure economic necessity.
Its a setup thats weird and difficult and will feel more than a little contrived, and will plop you amid reminders of her that will likely make your pain worse before it gets better. But, when youre looking at layoff and underwater mortgage, the certainty of employment (and renting your house) comes close to trumping all.
If you squint, maybe it will look like a fresh start?
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