Michael Deeds: Hungry, men? Boise’s new ‘breastaurant’ arrives

mdeeds@idahostatesman.comSeptember 27, 2013 

In a classic journalism moment, Idaho Statesman restaurant critic James Patrick Kelly got a speeding ticket while on assignment driving to the newly opened Hooters restaurant near Boise Towne Square in 2005.

“It’s not like I was excited or anything,” Kelly claimed, “just late for lunch with an old fishing buddy.”

Yeah, right. Consequently, if I’m one of Boise’s finest, I polish my radar gun and park at the former Timeout Sports Pub location at 7751 W. Spectrum St. next week. That’s where Boise’s new “breastaurant,” Twin Peaks, will expose its ample cleavage by unlocking the doors on Monday, Sept. 30.

Yes, Beavis, it’s right by that “good wood” barbecue place. (Warning: If sophomoric humor offends you, stop reading now for both of our sakes.)

The Dallas-based franchise will be open only for dinner during its first week: 5 p.m. to midnight Sundays through Thursdays, 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays. The following Monday, Oct. 7, it will start opening at 11 a.m. daily.

The Twin Peaks slogan is “Eats. Drinks. Scenic views.” To recycle my description from a Sunday column last March: Like Hooters, the only flat thing inside Twin Peaks is the screens. It has an outdoorsy, mountain-lodge theme. The waitresses wear a “Lumber Jill” outfit: a plaid, cleavage-and-tummy-showcasing red top and snug khaki shorts — until Oct. 25-31, when servers will dress up in sexy Halloween attire. Look, somebody has to replace Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, who is now old enough to take Social Security. (A truly scary thought for us kids who grew up with her on late-night TV.)

You’ll find a solid selection of craft beers at Twin Peaks, available in Girly and Man Size, of course. And the restaurant likes to boast about serving grub made from scratch. But in an eatery like Twin Peaks, the food and drink ostensibly are secondary to the quality of the candy — for the eyes. This is Boise, not Dallas, so it will be interesting to see how that potentially Texas-sized talent-pool challenge pans out.

Not that finding out will be worth flooring the gas pedal in your car — especially when most gawking patrons undoubtedly will be fantasizing about motorboating, anyway.

ENTERTAINMENT NOTES

• Craft beer lovers fondly refer to themselves as beer snobs. So it was surprising to see Payette Brewing Co. team up with the Treasure Valley Food Coalition’s Tomato Independence Project to mix beer with tomato juice.

For four hours at the Boise Co-op on Sept. 24, customers were given tastes of Leaning Barn Farmhouse Ale topped with juice made from five varieties of heirloom tomatoes.

You don’t usually concoct a “red beer” with anything fancier than, say, a Bud Light. Or something cheaper. But it’s not as if they used Payette’s Outlaw IPA. Leaning Barn is a lighter beer.

Nevertheless, most brewers do not like to see their creations defiled by foreign substances.

“There’s that initial, ‘Oh, we’re doing something to the beer!’ ” admitted Payette Brewing founder Mike Francis. “But it’s pretty fun, too. It’s just fun to see what other flavors you can add to it to bring out different things.”

In IPA-obsessed Boise, there were plenty of tasters at the Co-op who were unfamiliar with red beer, he said with a chuckle: “They were like, ‘That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.’ ”

For more local beer news, check out Beer Notes on page 22.

• If you aren’t reading this before 10 a.m. Sept. 27, you’re probably going to get beaten to the punch on 200 early-bird tickets going on sale for $50 to the 2014 Treefort Music Fest.

The festival, which will happen March 20-23 in Downtown Boise, attracted more than 280 acts and 6,000 fans last year.

After the early-birders are gone, four-day passes will increase to the regular price of $119. More information: Treefortmusicfest.com.

• It isn’t just you: Tech N9ne — who headlines Oct. 3 at the Knitting Factory — really does seem like he performs every other day in Boise.

Here’s why: He keeps making money. The independent rapper was just listed as one of Forbes magazine’s “Hip Hop Cash Kings” — ahead of big names such as 50 Cent and Rick Ross.

Embedded at my blog is a revealing video filmed inside Tech N9ne’s Kansas City-based business operation, which Forbes says brings in almost $20 million a year.

That, rapper wannabes, is how you make bank.

Michael Deeds’ column runs Fridays in Scene and Sundays in Life. He co-hosts “The Other Studio” at 9 p.m. Sundays on 94.9 FM The River.

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