Hax: A baby shower with a village vibe

The Washington PostAugust 3, 2013 

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I’m pregnant with my first child, and I’m getting quite a bit of feedback from close friends and family about having a baby shower.

I don’t really want to have one. I feel like my husband and I have the resources to take care of what we really need, and it seems a little self-centered to be asking anyone else to contribute to a choice we made on our own. I’m feeling a lot of pressure about the baby. Is it OK to say no, I don’t want one? Is it important to let other people have a party?

A MUST?

You’re under no obligation to have a shower. So, yes, it’s OK to say no and hold to it.

However, the answer to your other question is that people often do like to feel as if they’re a part of your major life events.

So, why not at least consider a themed shower that allows people to (1) express their taste versus follow your instructions; (2) spend very little; (3) promote a beautiful connection between these loving people and your baby?

The idea I have in mind is a children’s book shower, where guests are asked to bring (and sign) a favorite. Another, though, would be an advice or time-capsule shower, where people can write down something they wish someone had told them … let’s say upon their high-school graduation, or at different stages of life. Get a nice archival box for them and hold on to it to present to your child when s/he’s 18. I’m wishing I’d done this.

Re: Baby showers: I totally support the idea of a book shower for a new baby — it gives the village a chance to get together and celebrate a new baby, and you never know when you might need that village down the road.

For that matter, don’t discount the tips that you can get at a baby shower. You might not even be aware of the random stuff that other families have found to be lifesavers when it comes to taking care of babies.

ANONYMOUS

Thanks. I also heard from others suggesting a theme of “little things I couldn’t have done without.” I’d bring a pack of Sharpies.

Email tellme@washpost.com. Chat online at 10 a.m. Fridays at www.washingtonpost.com.

Idaho Statesman is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

Commenting FAQs | Terms of Service