Guys, here's the best way to wrap that caveman brain of yours around Twin Peaks, the skimpy-outfit sports bar franchise headed to Boise sometime this fall: Industry veteran Hooters is Pam Anderson. Twin Peaks is Kate Upton.
Part of a wave of new "breastaurants" cutting into Hooters' market share, Dallas-based Twin Peaks plans to move into the former Timeout Sports Pub location at 7751 W. Spectrum St., next to Goodwood Barbecue Co., near the Boise Spectrum.
Like Hooters, the only flat thing inside Twin Peaks is the screens. But as far as these types of restaurants go, Twin Peaks feels tailor-made for Idaho. It has an outdoorsy, mountain lodge theme.
It's like Cabela's with boobs. The waitresses wear a "Lumber-Jill" outfit - a plaid, cleavage-and-tummy-showcasing red top and flattering khaki shorts.
Approve or not, one thing Idahoans can appreciate: Twin Peaks doesn't try to B.S. anyone. This is a sports bar that openly and enthusiastically promotes sex appeal. The slogan: "Eats. Drinks. Scenic Views."
This weekend's Easter promotion is advertised with a photo of a model wearing lingerie and bunny ears with the enticing line: "Hop in! Catch some cute tail at the Peaks!"
ABC's "Nightline" featured Twin Peaks a week ago in a laughably written segment about the surging "breastaurant" phenomenon. The endless barrage of puns and double entendres would have left Ted Koppel speechless. Hooters is "sagging," the Nightline reporter claimed with a straight face, because of inroads from competitors such as Twin Peaks and the Celtic-themed Tilted Kilt.
David Schmille, the amiable, Dallas-based co-owner of the Boise Twin Peaks franchise, says the brand began 2013 with 25 restaurants but plans to finish the year with 50. Fast-growing Twin Peaks is the most "polished" player in this competitive restaurant category, he feels.
"The Twin Peaks customer is a little bit different than the Hooters customer," he says. "The Twin Peaks customer is more ... white-collar - a little bit more affluent, more educated."
With the airport, hotels and Spectrum nearby, Schmille sees opportunity in Boise.
Twin Peaks' menu, though simple, features made-from-scratch food that is "really good," he says.
Schmille chuckles while recalling Twin Peaks founder Randy DeWitt telling him, "It's Bubba food. But it's good Bubba food."
Back in 2005, Hooters created a mini-stir when it opened in Boise at the corner of Fairview and Milwaukee. Letters to the editor included a classic from a Statesman reader who found the idea "revolting": "I hope every hot young chick who works there lives long enough to suffer the pain and humiliation of having her husband be unfaithful to her," she wrote, "maybe with someone he met at Hooters."
Several years later, it's hard to imagine any eyebrows raising around here about Twin Peaks - unless they're from nervous sports-bar competitors.
MCCALL MUSIC FESTIVAL THIS SUMMER
Within 48 hours of writing about the McCall Music Festival on my blog, the post had received more than 600 Facebook likes.
Sheesh, that's a lot of Pat Benatar fans, Boise.
The two-day festival - to be held July 5 and 6 at the Manchester Ice and Event Centre in downtown McCall - also will feature Big Head Todd and the Monsters, The Young Dubliners, Reckless Kelly and more.
Tickets to the festival go on sale April 5. You can find all the details on my blog.
WIN FREE METHOD MAN AND REDMAN TICKETS
Rappers Method Man & Redman are headed to the Revolution Center in Garden City for a concert April 19. If you're interested in a pair of free tickets, it's another reason to visit my blog. I'm giving away two pairs.
TONIGHT IN 'THE OTHER STUDIO' ON 94.9 FM
Join Tim Johnstone and me March 31 for discussion of the latest music news - both local and national - plus tunes from acts ranging from Ashley Monroe to Matt Hopper and Spiritualized. "The Other Studio" airs at 9 p.m. Sundays on 94.9 FM The River.
IN SCENE APRIL 5
Crooked Fence Brewing of Garden City is preparing to open a pub and grill. Better yet? It will be a stone's throw from the Revolution Center, making it an excellent pre-concert destination. Beer writer Patrick Orr will have the scoop.
Michael Deeds' column runs Fridays in Scene and Sundays in Life. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Twitter: @IDS_Deeds