Adapted from a recent online discussion, and continued from Monday.
Dear Carolyn: If it is actually true that the gal (in Monday's column) has strongly held but extremely uninformed beliefs about politics, then be prepared for her to have strongly held but uninformed beliefs about marriage, parenting, child care, etc. And yes, I'd say that if the political affiliations and/or genders were reversed.
Such a great point and, yes, it works no matter how you shake up the specifics.
Stubbornness is a pain to deal with in a relationship anyway, but when it arises from a place other than facts or reason, it's an anger factory.
It's especially painful to watch when a child is involved, and This Myth or That Myth is applied with extremist zeal to some consequential element of child-rearing, while the other parent wrestles with the following choice: Watch helplessly or touch off epic fights. Awful. I've seen it up close.
Re: Politics: I think where the political differences stem from, and how this affects your view of money and child-raising, is important. Is it important to you to give to charities, but does she see it as a waste of money? How will this affect things when you move from your money/my money to our money? Are there personal values that these political views express - and would it bother you if your children were taught hers over yours?
These are excellent conversation-starters, thanks.
Re: Politics: I always ask myself when faced with political differences in a potential relationship: "Is this person sufficiently kind?" I find that political differences that turn out to be deal-breakers are evidence that the person is not kind enough for me to want to spend time with them.
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