Carolyn: I am a 32-year-old, married-with-children, educated professional who on outward appearances should have no reason to be miserable. However, I am.
Some recent events have triggered deep self-esteem issues that were probably always with me but now I cant seem to get over. I feel I am unlikable, unlovable and that no one really cares about me. I am possessed by irrational thoughts that I am worthless.
No one in my life really seems to be able to help me move forward. I think I need help but am scared and not sure if my issues are serious enough to warrant it.
I definitely think my self-esteem issues are starting to impact my marriage and family. At what point is there a solid basis for counseling? I am afraid to call a counseling place and have them shun me for not having serious enough issues.
WHEN DOES ONE NEED HELP?
No one in my life really seems to be able to help me move forward: rock-solid grounds for counseling.
No reputable counseling place will shun you, ever. Your fear of that, in fact, sounds like depression talking, as do a few other remarks.
Please know that whatever ails you, its exactly what counseling is for and a therapist knows that. Do your homework to find a quality provider with whom you feel comfortable, and then be patient with the process of getting well.
Carolyn: OK, so, close friend has decided to give it another try with the loser boyfriend she broke up with five years ago when she fell in love with Loser Boyfriend No. 2.
She asked for my thoughts and I told her, honestly but not cruelly. She, of course, ignored my advice and is pursuing this relationship. Bad idea? Yes. My responsibility? Nope.
At some point, I will probably meet him. It is not my job to judge, so of course I will be civil. But Im really not a good enough actress to fake a Hey, its so great to meet you! that I really dont feel. So, any suggestions?
(SOMEONE ELSES) LOSER BOYFRIEND
(1) Hello, Ive heard so much about you.
(2) You do realize your close friend is the problem, right? When she asks again for your thoughts, try, I hope youll consider counseling, because these men are so obviously troubled that your seeking them out concerns me.