Michael Deeds: Country-rap should be put out to pasture

Published: November 2, 2012 

Colt Ford's 2010 album, "Chicken & Biscuits."

COURTESY PHOTO

Country music, like so many other genres, has lost some of its authenticity over the years.

But it’s never felt more phony than Colt Ford, who will headline Nov. 7 at Boise’s Knitting Factory.

Ford, 42, is a country rapper.

Look, I’ve heard the argument: That today’s country fans load their iPods with Kenny Chesney, Taylor Swift and Lil’ Wayne, then hit “random” and happily steer their combines.

I’m aware that Jason Aldean’s rap-inseminated hit, “Dirt Road Anthem,” is a genetic mutation that Ford originally co-wrote and recorded with nearly equally painful singer Brantley Gilbert.

What I can’t comprehend is how folks fathom that creating an unholy matrimony of country and hip-hop — genres surviving on their own — is natural, innovative or “progressive.” (OK, it was sort of funny when Swift rapped with T-Pain: “I knit sweaters, yo!”)

Aldean should not rap. Cowboy Troy should not rap. Gangstagrass probably should not rap, even though I find that act’s bluegrass fusion (see the theme to FX’s series “Justified”) slightly more tolerable.

Ford definitely should not rap.

A Georgia-raised ex-golf pro, Ford appeared in 2008 and has won a fan base of confused suckers. Let’s be kind: The dude is no Eminem. And his cliche-packed rhymes? Trucks, fishin’ holes, dirt roads, squirrel huntin’, small towns. Yeah, I get it — he’s “country” and “real.”

“I grew up in the rural routes,” he brags on a new cut with Aldean, “Drivin’ Around Song.” Me, too, dawg! With a tractor, Angus cattle — I even attended a one-room school like Laura Ingalls freakin’ Wilder. (Seriously.) Yet, inexplicably, hearing Ford’s rhymes is like holding a dry cowpie to my ear.

Country radio hasn’t been particularly welcoming. Ford isn’t getting any regular airplay in Boise. But he’s made fast friends in Nashville.

“I think he’s highly respected for his songwriting, because he’s so talented,” says Alana Lynn, morning-show host at Boise station Wow Country 104.3 FM, which is giving away tickets to Ford’s concert.

Alrighty then. Tim McGraw and Eric Church have made appearances in Ford songs. Kix Brooks, Montgomery Gentry and Darius Rucker show up on his new album, “Declaration of Independence.” It hit No. 1 on Billboard’s country chart and No. 2 on its rap chart.

This must be the work of Lucifer.

Repeat: Country and rap do not mix. They ain’t biscuits and gravy.

Wow 104.3 got negative feedback for spinning Aldean’s “Dirt Road Anthem,” says program director Dan Matthews. “THAT AIN’T COUNTRY!” callers griped.

But other listeners loved it. And although Matthews remains unconvinced that Ford will take country-rap deep into the mainstream, we probably need to prepare our purist souls for the inevitable next wave.

“I think somebody will break through with this,” Matthews says. “And I think that when they do, they will cite Colt as a reason for their success.”

“Will Colt break through?” he guesses. “... Probably not.”

Shucks, maybe country radio just isn’t ready for Ford — despite the fact the man born Jason Brown apparently even used an Automatic Country Music Name Generator to create his stage persona. (“Hey, how about a gun for a first name and a pickup for a last name? Colt Ford! Now that there’s country! Yessiree! U.S.A.!”)

I don’t mind that Ford makes me think of Chumley from “Pawn Stars” rapping in a cowboy hat. I don’t flinch when he crows, “Now what do you think ol’ Hank would say/It’d kill him if he still was alive today,” during “Hip Hop in a Honky Tonk.”

(OK, I lied. That song bugs me. Let’s all celebrate the urbanization of rural America while we’re at it.)

It’s just that Ford’s “music” hurts my face. Unless someone appears with a tolerable breed of country-rap, the genre needs to be sent to the Music Row slaughterhouse.

Naturally, not everyone agrees.

“I’m the old guy,” says Randy Scott, morning-show host at Wow. “I’m more of the old-school kind of country. And I’m totally cool with it. Because you know what? It’s evolving. And you evolve or you die.”

Loan me a noose, cowboy.

Michael Deeds’ column runs Friday in Scene and Sunday in Life. He hosts “The Other Studio” at 9 p.m. Sundays on 94.9 FM The River and appears Thursdays on Channel 6 News.

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