Dear Amy: I am a high school student. My math teacher has been telling us stories that are in the news. I wouldnt normally be seeing this as a bad thing, but the stories he tells us are grotesque and very disturbing.
After reading the highlights of the article, he mocks them! He read us a story about an athlete who killed himself. I thought this was very sad, but my teacher said how dumb it was that because this athlete didnt get a medal, he killed himself.
In addition to reading these horror stories to us every other day, he sometimes shows us pictures to go with the story.
I feel awful in that class with a teacher constantly mocking the dead. Its impossible to concentrate on the actual lesson hes teaching with all this running through my head.
I want to tell him to back off, but hes the type of person to tell the whole school about it.
Also, I dont want to make a big deal out of this. That would be even worse because everyone would know. Ive tried plugging my ears and shutting my eyes. What should I do?
UPSET
Dear Upset: You need to see this as a big deal because it is a big deal. Your teacher has strayed very far off the lesson plan, and is introducing his own personal and disturbing thoughts and imagery, which definitely dont have anything to do with math. Hes soaking up class time and distracting you (and other students).
I realize you dont want to raise this issue with him (because he sounds like a bully). But this is important. Your parents, guidance counselor and school administration should know what is going on. You should try to be removed from the class and in my opinion, anyway this teacher should be removed from the classroom.
Dear Amy: I have a serious problem. My neighbor, who is this very old lady, asks me to take her garbage out every time I pass her front door to get into my apartment. She doesnt say please or thank you and she just expects me to take her garbage out every time!
Im a nice guy and dont like to be rude to old people, but now Im getting anxiety attacks every time I have to go back to my apartment.
What should I do?
NICE GUY
Dear Guy: If you really, truly want to be a nice guy (and not just think of yourself as a nice guy), you will simply accept that this encounter will happen and open your heart to be your neighbors garbage-helper. If you accept this as your little neighborly mitzvah, your anxiety will be relieved because you wont feel ambushed. Youll expect it.
You can control this process by introducing yourself. Also ask her name. Then you can say, Well, Mrs. Clark, how about you leave this bag outside in the morning and Ill take it downstairs on my way out. Would that work?
If your neighbor seems to be having problems you would consider more extreme, or if she seems confused or impaired, tell your buildings manager.


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