Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Carolyn: I feel like Im a working mom stuck inside a stay-at-home moms body. This is a new and strange lifestyle thats just not clicking with me yet, and I worry it never will. All the mommy friends Ive made are educated, driven career women like I was. They work during the day, and Im left at home with my little one. How do I adjust to this new lifestyle?
TRAPPED NEW MOM
Plenty of educated, driven career people take time away from careers to be home with their kids, so you havent fallen out of some exclusive club or become a different person.
You might, though, be asking too much of stay-at-home parenthood. If you expect it to be just you and Baby and gingerbread then youre putting yourself on a path to lose your mind.
I dont think its natural for parents to be holed up alone with their kids. There has generally always been a communal element to raising kids.
So try applying some of your workplace skills to your new lifestyle: How best to get this job done well, within your budget, taking your new reality into account, and without isolating yourself? Think goals, not traps.
Carolyn: I work, and my childs in day care a couple of days a week, but I rarely see other parents at pick-up/drop-off. Ive tried meeting other moms through neighborhood Listservs, but not much has come of it; and frankly, a lot of moms I meet stay at home and arent really interested in socializing with working moms because of scheduling. What other things should I try to make mom-friends?
While it might be worth it for your own reasons to keep making an effort to meet other parents, its also OK to be patient. For a lot of parents, the real chances to circulate dont come until their kids are in school. Day care is such a drop-and-go environment, whereas schools (in my experience) foster communities as do the waiting areas for music lessons, dance classes, sports practices, and whatever else you wait around for your a-little-bit-older child to pursue.
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