Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Carolyn: I feel that my friend, who is my roommate, has not been sympathetic with me lately.
It seems like when I say something, she automatically asks me if I did X to remedy the situation and if I say I havent, I get, Well, why not? Usually, when she tells me about a problem, I am sympathetic.
I know it is her nature to be more rational than emotional, while Im the opposite, but sometimes she comes off as uncaring.
Should I worry about this? Should I just make note of it and realize its her personality to see things more rationally and to want to fix them instead of how I normally react, which is giving more sympathy? Should I even talk to her about it?
GREAT FRIENDS, NEW ROOMMATES
Should I worry?: No. Should I just make note of it and realize its her personality to see things more rationally instead of how I normally react, which is giving more sympathy?: Yes. Should I even talk to her about it?: No Unless: your effort to appreciate her as-is doesnt work.
In that case, I suggest saying something along the lines of, I hear that youre trying to help me, and I appreciate that, but sometimes Im not looking for solutions so much as a Gee that (stinks). Spell out what you need.
While youre there, ask her whether youre giving her sympathy when what she really wants from you is some help fixing things.
Carolyn: Generally speaking, would you agree that two kids are more difficult than one? I have a sibling who is always claiming to be too busy to help with family business she has one child and I have two, yet I find time to do whats asked of me.
She swears that being a parent to a single child is just as difficult as having multiple children, which I find ridiculous.
ONE OR MORE?
I think getting into a whizzing contest on this is a loser, because theres no possible outcome but hard feelings. Its not a game show.
Ask for a one-for-one match in investment, regardless of brood size. Thats arguably the only fair way to go.
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