Hax: Look at my kid! Friend is reluctant

Published: July 12, 2012 

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Carolyn: I mass-emailed some close friends a picture of my 9-month-old doing something really, really cute. I got wrist-slapped by one friend (she happens to be childless), who told me very gently she and most people prefer not to receive email like that.

I immediately felt very embarrassed, and a little sad because I get joy out of sharing my son’s life with my nearest and dearest.

BAD MOMMY

Take the one friend off the circulation list. She had a right to speak up, but not to speak for “most people.”

Regardless of what other friends say, whittle your “mass-email” list down anyway, to a few people you can really count on to care. For all you know, some of your more peripheral recipients are struggling (infertility, scary diagnosis, money trouble…), and you’re not close enough to them to know this, and a breezy, impersonal little baby-gram could easily hit them wrong.

Carolyn: My younger sister recently married a man much older than she is: mid-20s vs. 50ish. He’s a good man, and they love each other deeply, so the age isn’t my issue.

My concern is that he is well-educated (multiple degrees and very successful in a technical field) and sort of a know-it-all and is very vocal and forceful with his opinions.

I just worry that when they have kids, her opinion won’t be respected as much as his.

MAY-DECEMBER

The time to confront this is when they have kids and you witness his disrespect for her views firsthand. What you can do now: Treat her as an equal; boost her immunity.

Email tellme@washpost.com. Chat online at 10 a.m. Fridays at www.washingtonpost.com.

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