Dear Amy: My cousin’s son is getting married.
There are two wedding ceremonies on the same day — one is a Catholic Mass at noon, followed by a Hindu ceremony at 4:30, with a reception afterward.
I have heard that my cousin is hosting people for snacks at her house between weddings. There was nothing in our invitation that invited us to this gathering.
This day represents many hours of festivities. We are getting a hotel room because we live so far away. We do not want to attend both weddings. Is it OK to pick and choose the wedding we prefer to attend?
We want to attend the Hindu ceremony because we have never been to one before.
Please help us make the appropriate decision.
Dear Confused: This is a whole lot of wedding, but your choice to cherry-pick the ceremony that is most interesting to you might not match the couple’s intentions. You should learn what their expectations are and do your best to comply.
You should reach out to whomever is in charge of arrangements (if you feel the bride and groom are too busy, ask a close family member involved in the planning).
Ask an open-ended question: “Can you tell me a little more about the arrangements? I’ve never been invited to two ceremonies before, so should all the guests go to both of the ceremonies? Is there anything planned for in-between the ceremonies? We’re happy to fend for ourselves but I’m trying to get the logistics figured out.”
Dear Amy: Responding to the letter from “Unplugged Mom,” who was worried about her young children playing M-rated video games, in my household we say those games are rated “I,” not “M.” I think you can guess why!
ALSO A GAMER
Dear Gamer: Actually, I can’t figure out your home rating system. But the most important thing is that the adults in your household make appropriate choices — and the kids comply.