We You Docs believe your health is a no-embarrassment zone, but read on with caution.

“Friends’” Joey Tribbianni knew how to buy time when he forgot a line — stop and smell the — well, smell. It may work in that situation, but real flatulence is a show-stopper, particularly when it’s loud and stinky.

You pass gas about 14 times a day. We all do. Even Dr. Oz does — not good on the set of the show! (Dr. Mike is writing this column.) Fortunately, most go unnoticed. Otherwise, a four-hour conference with 10 people would deliver 24 wind-breakers. Meeting adjourned!

Most passed gas is nitrogen. Carbon dioxide, methane and hydrogen also are common and inoffensive byproducts of digestion. Embarrassing noises announce the passage of gas when your tense sphincter acts as a wind instrument. And the smell — that’s from hydrogen sulfide, which is produced when sulfur-rich food is digested by bacteria in your colon.

Foods that promote sulfur smells include eggs, meat, fish, beer, beans, broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage. If you don’t want to give up on potentially smelloriffic foods, you can control odor by eating leafy, green vegetables alongside them and taking a probiotic daily (pill form works best). To enjoy beans without the soundtrack, soak them ahead of time, or try a little Beano.

Other ways to reduce gas: Keep your bowels moving with regular exercise; eat smaller meals more often; rely on fruits, vegetables and whole grains to move things along. And stay hydrated to help avoid constipation. Ah! Sweet silence.

The You Docs — Mehmet Oz, host of “The Dr. Oz Show” and Mike Roizen of Cleveland Clinic — are authors of “YOU: Losing Weight.” To submit questions, go to www.RealAge.com. A King Features syndicate.