With the Super Bowl this Sunday, we are about to be doused with the next wave of what promise to be moronic, insulting, sexist, and maybe even kind of funny beer ads.

Is there any more consistent thing in pop culture over the past two decades than the relentless stupidity of beer commercials from America’s corporate brewing conglomerates?

Whatever alien races are studying our culture right now must be champing at the bit to begin invasion if they have seen even a few minutes of commercial broadcasts during the average sports event.

I also realize this can be interpreted as a totally pretentious argument. Many will say — like Idaho Statesman columnist Brian Murphy, for instance — that the point of advertising is to be memorable. Isn’t beer supposed to be fun? Aren’t you being an uptight killjoy by bringing this up? How elitist are you, anyway?

I get it. One of the things I have always loved about beer is how it is the people’s beverage, how we in beer nation don’t take ourselves too seriously, and how we can extol the virtues of our favorite beverages while acknowledging that everyone’s taste is valid.

It’s just that the commercials are just so stupid. I can’t take it anymore.

I had an epiphany at the gym the other day. I had my headphones in, listening to Fishbone and grinding it out on a treadmill, when I saw a Budweiser commercial featuring some new-school rapper who wears sunglasses. (A quick Internet search identified this dude as someone called Pitbull. I remember when hip-hop meant Public Enemy, Ice-T, and Eric B. and Rakim. How times have changed.) Pitbull basically walks around a bar, opens bottles of Bud Light, and women in regular clothes are suddenly transformed into scantily clad, gyrating fly girls.

I’ve seen this before — it was a Duff Beer commercial from “The Simpsons.” So what was sharp satire 15 years ago is actually the reality today? It’s just sad.

How about the “un-manly” campaign Miller has unleashed on the universe? Like almost every Budweiser ad not involving horses, the Miller ads are essentially degrading to men and women. In order to be a manly man, you must drink Miller Lite. And women will worship you for it.

This simple act will give you the courage to take on the local climbing wall or the knowledge not to wear skinny jeans. This also will allow you to impress all the women at your local bar, because you are so awesome. Attention men of the United States.: All women are mocking you if you don’t drink Miller Lite.

This is the stuff that made it on TV. To see worse, type “beer commercials” into YouTube and watch some of the ads considered too risque for regular TV.

Outside of all the sexism and stereotypes, a big part of the stupidity is how often the message from the big brewers is how the horribly dull lagers they make is how beer is really supposed to taste. Which is just not true.

For instance, remember Coors’ “Bitter Beer Face”ads for Keystone, very likely the most tasteless beer ever sold? That’s just a disinformation campaign.

Guess what? There are more than 100 legitimate styles of beer, and almost all, except for light American lagers, require a detectable level of hop bitterness and aroma to meet style guidelines.

Whatever happened to retired football players doing the whole “tastes great, less filling” schtick? At least Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner were talking about the beer.

All this modern ridiculousness makes me think fondly of the old Busch beer campaign from the ’80s. The beer was horrible, but the commercials weren’t.

“Smooth as a mountain stream … Bussscchhhh,” complete with images of water tumbling over river rocks, grain swaying in the golden light of a sunset and wild horses running in slow motion. That’s an ad.

This is just the tip of the iceberg on this issue. Do you miss Spuds MacKenzie? Have you ever called a friend and yelled “Wazzup” and thought it was funny? Whatever happened to the Bud Bowl? Who won? What does “triple-hopped” mean for a beer that has no detectable hop flavor or aroma? Does any of this matter?

I want to hear from Boise beer types about this topic. Am I totally off base here? What beer ads do you hate the most? Are these ads corrosive to society? Do you care?

Email me at porr@idahostatesman.com. Keep the answers civil and clean, and I’ll compile the best for a future column or blog post.

Patrick Orr: 377-6219

Patrick Orr’s beer column runs the first Friday of the month.