Gotta hand it to our newspaper neighbor to the west. When it comes to keeping things real, it’s tough to top this coffee spitter-upper of a headline from the Idaho Press-Tribune: “Still planning your Halloween costume? What skank are you going to be?”
Dee-yam. That’s some funny stuff. (Cue Naughty By Nature: “You down with IP-T? Yeah, you know me!”)
There’s plenty of truth to the sentiment — but still: That brand of brutal honesty has to feel like a punch to the bare midriff for many ladies. (And gentlemen who not-so-mysteriously like to dress up as ladies every October.)
So what’s it gonna be this weekend? Naughty nurse? Half-clothed Lady Gaga? Playboy bunny? Dominatrix?
Meth-crazed street hooker?
Maybe “skank” isn’t quite the right word for the adult Halloween phenomenon. For many cleavage-cramming, 39-degree-weather-denying bar-hoppers, a better description was provided by Humpin’ Hannah’s party host Rocci Johnson when we discussed this titillating subject last year.
“Slutty!” Johnson declared. “I’m a girl. I can say ‘slutty.’ ”
And I thank her for it.
Johnson says “slutty.” The IP-T says “skank.” And I keep my mouth shut, eyeballing the scenery from the sidelines in my innocent bystander costume.
Because let’s face it, men: This is the one time of year you’re not going to hear, “Hey, $#@%, my eyes are up here!”
It’s impossible to get busted for looking. Go ahead: Stare. Let your jaw drop so far that your plastic vampire teeth clatter to the floor.
The more parties you hit, the more eye grazing you get to do. Consider it your responsibility as half of the symbiotic Halloween relationship between exhibitionist and voyeur.
In that same spirit of civic duty, here are a few out-on-the-town ideas in Boise for adults on Saturday, Oct. 29:
• Hannah’s, 621 Main St., will have the usual massive shindig: “Goblins’ Ghostly Gala.”
These events take preparation. Johnson spent 5 › hours transforming herself into the all-blue Neytiri from “Avatar” in 2010. (She wouldn’t tell me what her costume is this year except that, “always, I’m a dirty, dirty, evil girl.”)
Along with drink specials, red-carpet photos, $1 blood shots and rock ’n’ roll with the Rocci Johnson Band, Hannah’s will hand out more than $1,000 in costume-contest cash and prizes. Cover is $5.
(On a side note, Rocci Johnson Band guitarist Wayne Coyle is leaving after 18 years. He’ll be replaced by Nathan Moody starting Nov. 2.)
• China Blue nightclub, 100 S. 6th St., will host its annual three-in-one bash with downstairs bar Dirty Little Roddy’s and Main Street Bistro, which is a stone’s throw away. It’s called the “Massacre on Main Street Block Party.” An all-bar wristband is $20.
Cisco Adler from Schwayze will host, DJ and sing at China. Keke Luv from Kiss 103.3 also is slated to hang out. There’s a $500 costume contest.
Expect an array of prizes and drink specials at all three bars. Roddy’s is doing a $500 costume contest. There’s no contest at the Bistro, but it is offering a $1,000 bar tab as a door prize.
• Back in the days of Kool 104.3 FM, there was a big Halloween Fall Ball. Six years later, Kool Oldies 99.5 FM is reviving it — smoke-free at the Grove Hotel Ballroom, 245 S. Capitol Blvd., with seating for 320.
The Fabulous Chancellors will perform. There’s a $300 costume contest. Tickets are $15 at Select-a-Seat.
• If you’re 18 or older, you can hit “Boise’s dopest Halloween party” (that’s “dopest,” not “dopiest”) at the Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St.
The “Boise Halloween Bash” will include DJ, dancing, a photographer and costume contests that include a $200 prize for best-dressed couple.
Tickets are $10 general, $25 VIP. Check out boisehalloweenbash.com for details.
• Lastly, you can always just roll with the evening. Downtown sidewalks are a fantastic place to experience the sights and sounds of beer-buzzed Halloween madness.
Don’t forget to check the Ada County Sheriff’s website for the arrest mug shots Sunday morning. Trust me, you’ve never seen a mummy look so unraveled.
Michael Deeds co-hosts “The Other Studio” at 9 p.m. Sundays on 94.9 FM “The River”; he appears Thursdays on Channel 6 News. Twitter: @IDS_Deeds
