Dear Amy: One of my in-laws needs a new kidney. She will be undergoing the transplant process soon.

Her family wanted me to give her one of my kidneys. My family said no to this, and so I did not get tested beyond the blood test (we are the same blood group).

Now my in-laws are angry and have stopped talking to me.

I would like to know how my sick relative is doing, but I don’t know what to say when I call — or whether I should call.

UPSET

Dear Upset: If donating an organ is what it takes to get in good with your in-laws, then their standards are a tad unreasonable.

I assume there are other dynamics at play which created this pressure on you, but if you are eager to reach this in-law but don’t want to risk the verbal backlash, then the best way to do so is through a greeting card.

Dear Amy: I have a heart-wrenching decision to make about giving the love of my life a second chance.

He will not be honest with his two children about our relationship. His 16-year-old daughter and son (age 20) have told him that if he marries me, they will cut him out of their lives and never speak to him again. His ex-wife is fueling this and has so far been successful in making his children think they have the right to make this ultimatum.

This is emotional extortion. He is currently serving in Iraq. He and I have been living together stateside. His children and his ex-wife find this unacceptable.

During a visit home recently he asked his son to help him move some personal belongings out of our apartment to put them in storage. This was a sham gesture to make the son think we are not together.

I was so upset I ended the relationship. I am humiliated and devastated that my significant other cannot be honest. I think he is spineless and unable to establish healthy boundaries.

DEVASTATED

Dear Devastated: All the most important people in your guy’s life are pressuring him, and he is reacting by scurrying for cover.

Because he has essentially moved out of your home, your “second chance” could be to dial back your relationship and calmly continue to assert your choice to live authentically.

A good parent models appropriate and mature behavior. Allowing his kids to jerk him around isn’t good for him — but it is really not good for the kids.

askamy@tribune.com